THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!

I read something some time ago that spark a strong reaction in me. The directive I saw was a public directive addressed to a large group of people at an organization. The directive described a particular situation and then advised the group it was addressing that “ THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.” Let me be blunt and clear, I know that sometimes “THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE” is an appropriate way to effect change in a situation. I know that it is often my first reaction to many situations when something does not go “my way”. I know that in this case mentioned above , it is more often than not that this group is told, “this is not acceptable.”

I wonder If the organization would experience better results if it would communicate the desires/directives in a more nuanced or user friendly, collaborative way? I believe that it would. Again, let me reiterate, I know that personally, when something does not go as expected, desired, or otherwise somebody does not do the things I ask them to do, my immediate reaction is to think or say, “this is not acceptable.” and tell the person or persons so. I also know that when one hears this phrase, or a similar phrase that conveys a tone and culture of a “chain of command, or and authoritative structure. Many people simply “tune out” or ignore what comes after a statement like “This is not acceptable.” because it can be interpreted as authoritative in nature.

It is my experience that more often than not, people will respond most effectively and willingly if a statement is phrased in a more nuanced way, with a plea instead of a directive. I wonder if the organization that was making this directive realizes these points? I suspect not, because I have seen some of this organizations communications and the tone and hue of the “directives” is typically in an authoritarian/directive manner.

Even as I write this I am reminded that in several areas of my life including professional, and personal, I need to heed my own words. I sometimes find myself “directing” my children, especially one of my sons instead of pleading to change a behavior or outcome. So, at one level, I am writing to myself as a reminder to plead and work collaboratively to be creative to not “use” or “abuse” authority to accomplish tasks. I truly believe that if one works more collaboratively as if everybody one is “working with” is a volunteer, then a collaborative approach is most effective.

I believe that it is the responsibility of all of the members of any organization to help try and change the culture of any organization to become less “directive” and more pleading, more collaborative, more collegial instead of more authoritative. This responsibility starts at the top of any organization. I am committed to working more collaboratively and collegiality in all that I do. I ask God for the grace to change each time I find myself starting to think or say, “this is not acceptable”. Instead, I ask to respond in a collegial way that fosters collaboration.

What do you think?